Kelly’s Story
Thank you for wanting to find out more, I know for me hearing other peoples stories inspires me, and also creates connection. So here’s the real, raw and definitely uncut story….. Once upon a time….. I was dropped off in this far away land somewhere out there…. I didn’t know where I belonged, how I fitted into my family, my life, or the world, it didn’t make any sense to me, somehow I felt different.
Living in a small town in Sussex in the UK, there was not much about my life that ever turned me on. I did the best that I could with what I was given, with the incredible love and support of my family, I just kept seeking, searching and wanting more out of myself and life. I have had a gruelling initiation into my power, and it’s still revealing itself to me every single day. To be living the life I am today still amazes me, to be the woman I am who is so far from who I was just five years ago, took a big journey. It took dedication and a fierce commitment to my own awakening, honouring my deepest truths – and meeting every part of myself no matter how painful. It has taken me places where I had no choice but to feel every emotion that’s possible to feel, to make life changing choices, and face many of my biggest fears.
“It’s like I experienced the world through a different lens to those around me”

“It Was A Journey Of Losing Myself To Find Myself”

The Teenage Years…..

When I was 13 years old I remember so clearly sitting on my bed with my mum crying my eyes out saying “I hear these voices talking to me, I don’t understand what’s going on, if it’s all in my head, am I just talking to myself, I don’t know what or who this is, I feel like I’m going mad”. My mums response was ‘it’s OK sweetheart – we all talk to ourselves sometimes”, neither of us understanding that I was actually accessing a higher realms and other dimensions.

Me and my little bro Dean…. “There was a fierce little warrior always hiding in there somewhere – she always kept me going”
I am so grateful for my amazing mums never ending love and support
Looking back I can now see that from that point on something shifted, and eventually those voices were drowned out by brain fog, pain and fatigue. I ended up getting pretty sick, with tonsillitis IBS, and eventually being diagnosed at seventeen with chronic fatigue syndrome/M.E amongst other things, it was the start of a downhill spiral. These health challenges eventually led to me being fully bed-bound for many months. I literally needed help to be carried to the bathroom, and as a teenager that seriously sucks. I remember looking out of my bedroom window, having been in bed for months, at my friends living their lives, being invited out to parties and going out on dates with guys, I couldn’t even walk to the bathroom let alone go out the front door. I felt so desperate, so ill and that was the lead up to my eighteenth birthday, not the celebration I had imagined.
All of my twenties were a daily battle of symptoms, whilst my fierce will kept me trying to live my life, there was this unassailable force driving me, a deep calling within me to be more, make a difference and do something more with my life, so I was either working or sleeping and nothing much else.
“I was aching to be expressed, to let out this voice that felt locked deep within me, this expression I longed for, this part of me I didn’t know how to reach. I was completely lost and my health was a great reflection of that inner journey”
“We all have our inner battles, our demons to fight – or face”
Eventually after years of learning, getting support and making big changes I recovered to a certain degree from the debilitating conditions by my early thirties and was able to create a business serving others, but I wasn’t out the woods.
I still had many limitations that led me to only being able to drink water, and I was limited to the same eight foods, eating the same thing for breakfast lunch and dinner for the past seven years. The limitations and symptoms made no sense, the fear and tension of not knowing why, or what to do was excruciating to deal with every single day, as whatever I tried seemed to make me worse.
This condition called me to surrender deeply as no supplement, or treatment helped, in fact making me worse, so I had to hand it over to the divine for answers, and was guided on a shamanic path, but boy has it been an initiation in my will, courage and vulnerability, more on this later.
So back to the journey…..

The truth was, whilst I was running my business and looking 'successful', I was getting sick again - helping others to get well
From the outside world I looked happy and successful, I was putting on a brave face to the world but I was living on autopilot. I had a fabulous flat, a convertible car, a business that was making an impact in the world, I thought I was 'on purpose'. I was running seminars, workshops, trainings, coaching and mentoring programmes, but most of the time I was actually 'running the business and the team' not doing what I loved at all.
I wasn’t being real, authentic or living my truth. I remember the day I was sitting in my beautiful flat I had created for myself, falling apart, crying so deeply I thought I would never stop, I felt so lost, scared, sick and deeply deeply depressed. I felt like a fraud, I didn't know who I was, I had to stop, but I had no idea how to get out, I would let so many people down, wouldn't have an income and felt too ill to know what to do. I felt trapped, a life full of responsibilities, it felt completely impossible, and I felt like I should just be grateful for what I have.

“Success came at a huge cost, I was on autopilot”
“As A Warrior For The Truth, and A Modern Day Creative Alchemist, I Kept Waking Up, Shaking Up And Jumping Off The Cliff”…
One day everything changed…..
I made a choice….. a very good friend of mine had been inviting me to a workshop, one that I kept being too busy to attend but knew I needed to be there, and so I finally choose to go, as something had to change and that weekend it did. It spoke directly to my heart and I was initiated into a whole new paradigm, and it kicked off a new phase of my life.
It awakened something deep within me, a place where I finally had access to a deeper knowing, a force outside of my mind, logic and unconscious programming, so I choose to jump. I went on a 8 year journey of learning, embodying and living the fundamental premises of the creative process, alchemy and using my intuition and Superconscious as new way of living and creating in the world.
“So instead of reacting to my circumstances and trying to fix my problems, I started living from my truth and creating my life”
I knew that the life I was living was out of alignment with my true nature and what I really wanted my life to be about – even though I wasn’t completely clear on what that was just yet.
So why was it that I was struggling so much in life, business, and relationships and feeling so empty inside, when I created what I thought I wanted?
Because I wasn’t TURNED ON, I wasn’t living from my truth, my heart, or my authentic expression. I didn’t really know who I was outside of the roles I was playing in my life. I was creating predominantly from my ego, my unconscious programmes on autopilot in reaction to what I believed I needed to do, to get what I thought I wanted, and once I got it I was still empty.
I was trying to save the world, trying to prove myself, trying to make the money – to one day, someday live the life I really wanted to live, and instead I was taking myself further and further away from it and losing myself in the process.
“We are not here to try to become successful – we are here to be turned on to, embody and express our true divine nature, our genius – that is our purpose in the world – to create what we love…. The side effect is that we become successful and can possibly even change the world”

So how did I get out of this trap?

I let go, I let go of it all, I died to my old life, I surrendered and I walked away from my business, my home, the comfort of my family and friends, I sold everything and followed my intuitive insights that led me to Cape Town – South Africa.

It was the most terrifying and heart wrenching thing I had ever experienced. I let go of my business that I had poured my heart and soul into for three years, I walked away from my income, my clients, my family and I had no idea of what was next.

BUT – I now had some training under my belt that gave me access to a deeper wisdom, a trust in myself and my heart, so I knew the truth of my next steps despite how I felt and what I thought, I choose love and truth over fear…. This led me to the next steps and the next…. and so my adventures began.

“I made it to Cape Town…. But now what?”

Over the next few years I dedicated my time, energy and money into training and really dived deep into Alchemy, Intuition, and the creative process. I had the most incredible shamanic adventures, amazing safaris in Africa, and have made some lifelong friends along the way.

As I came face to face with myself, my shadow and my dark side, I opened up to my heart my truth and my inner genius. I finally started hearing those voices I lost access to at thirteen.

Those voices were my soul whispering, the other realms communicating with my heart, I just had no idea what to do with it at the time. I had to learn to receive them and speak the same language.

I died to so much of myself, shed some deep layers and gave birth to a more real, vulnerable authentic me. I felt like I was coming back to life slowly. I started coaching in this new way of living and creating and went on to give hundreds of super-conscious readings as I worked alongside some powerful authors, creators and visionaries, as I continued to master the art of living and creating from our genius consciousness. I was so incredibly grateful for all of this training, as one of the toughest times of my life was just around the corner.

As I was about to board the plane from Cape Town to the UK my phone rang…

My brother asked me to pass the phone to my partner. He told him to hold me as he told me that they didn’t think my dad was going to make it, I had eighteen hours on a plane and no idea if my dad would be alive when I got to the other side.

When I landed he was gone. It completely broke my heart open, he was an amazing dad, and I miss him deeply. But his loss compelled me more than ever to dedicate the rest of my life to living my truth in his honour. I felt the pain deeply, but I used it to compel me toward creating and being of service to the world from my deepest truest calling, I realised that life is shorter than we think, and we don’t have time to waste hiding or waiting….

My dad’s story is a powerful lesson that can inspire others to create change and a new path in life and one I am dedicated to sharing. His death taught me so much about the power of making choices from fear or love.

My dad was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer, the doctors telling him he would never clear it from his body, he would be lucky to have 10 years, and through working with me on some of his unconscious programmes, and making massive dietary and lifestyle changes, alongside Chemo, he did, he was cancer free.

Daddy’s Girl

But the doctors told him it would come back (the same doctor who said it would never go) and that he should have a bone marrow transplant just in case. And during his treatment he got pneumonia. He died of pneumonia and had NO Cancer in his body. He made a choice out of fear and trusted the doctor instead of his own body and his own truth. What if he were more aware of what was driving his choices, if he had access to his higher truth and trusted himself, he may have had the ability to make a different choice, who knows.

That is one of the reasons I am here – and sharing my heart, story and teachings with you, because you are still here and you still have a choice.

“I had to die to everything I thought I knew before I was ready to bring this vision to life”

Having spent over fifteen years coaching and training people in the personal and spiritual development arena, I had to let go of so many of the concepts I held, as they no longer resonated with the new truth I now had access to. I then spent the next few years as a super-conscious coach and supported my clients to create massive shifts and transformations. Yet there was something missing, as many of them were still struggling and not creating at their fullest potential. I witnessed so many people having been trained and coached that were still not fully embodying their power and living their truth, and for myself personally, as much as I was creating powerfully in many areas of my life, I knew there was still something missing.


"Men and sex scared the s**t out of me. Now it was time to get Turned On for REAL..... and face my next BIG demons"
Love eluded me my entire life, I was petrified of men, intimacy, and only dated a few guys in my late twenties, a guy friend of mine once said its like you have “F**K off written on your forehead’ I had no chance. Until I discovered my unconscious programmes that were expelling men instead of attracting them, I was fighting a losing battle. I was so shut down, disconnected and scared that I never had a relationship until I was in my thirties.

Once I discovered this and learnt the tools to shift the power - I walked straight in his front door.....

I literally got guided to leave, to move house and go specially to Hout Bay in Cape Town, it was an instruction, my intuition guided me right through his front door. I felt something beyond anything I had ever experienced before and it rocked my world. They say when you know – you know – and boy did I know – This extraordinary man turned me on like nothing else ever had in my life – he was worth waiting more than thirty years for and I knew the moment I laid eyes on him. Our relationship was one of the biggest teachers for 7 years of my life. It bought me face to face with aspects of my shadow I couldn’t see before, it cracked my heart wide open until our soul contract was complete.
I had to get naked, In more ways than one…
Having been in bed for most of my teens – not doing ‘that’ but sleeping, and due to an experience when I was young, I had big issues around men and intimacy. I was intuitively guided to be trained with some of the leaders in the fields of embodiment, sexuality and feminine awakening.
Not surprisingly these teachings and trainings turned me on….. to an aspect of myself and my divine feminine nature that I had been completely disconnected from. It allowed me to access myself behind the mask, behind the invisible armour I had created to protect myself. I connected with a deeper level of vulnerability, self-love and acceptance and I started accessing that part of me that nothing else could let me reach – and that came through my connection with my body.
I had to face and deal with the suppressed sexual trauma from childhood, the shame, guilt and fear that it created around sex, men and intimacy, as well as the deeply dysfunctional relationship I had with my body and my own sexuality and expression in the world. This is what created the armour and the mask I hid behind my entire life to protect myself. I forced myself to work hard, making my health challenges worse, so I could prove myself, feel good enough, to get love and validation in the world, as I couldn’t get it from a man, or give it to myself, I didn’t know how.
I had to die to this part of myself, I had to take my mask off and be naked in every sense of the word.
I had to be vulnerable, real, to face and feel the pain I had run from and buried deep within me for far too long.
It was only when I allowed myself to know what turned me on, to connect with my own sexual essence, to activate my own sensuality to honour both the masculine and feminine within myself. To allow myself to receive pleasure, to start unleashing the wild woman in me that I had locked away, that I was able to open up, to receive, meet and fall deeply in love with myself that I could open fully to someone else as well as my true creative power.
It’s taken me a long time to get here, to birth this creation and long held dream and vision that I’ve held in my heart for so long. And this is just the start, as I continue to heal, and evolve my vision will expand and I will continue to share my insights, stories, lessons and wisdom with you as I go.
So that’s me in nutshell, I am not perfect, I am not TURNED ON all the time
I freak out, fuck up, I get scared, resist, hold back, get too intense and want to save everyone, or hide from the world from time to time, I am human after all. But I am fully committed to showing up, I will continue to die and be reborn to more of my divine nature and will continue to live, breathe and embody everything that I share, and everything that I am.
My vulnerability
My fears
My gifts,
And own my Genius – all of it. I am committed to getting over myself, getting out of my own way, diving deep, rising high, learning, growing and being of service to the world in the best way I can – by being exactly who I am in any moment, by following the golden thread of truth that turns me on. Because the more I am turned on, the more real I am, the more of service I can be to you, others and the world.
I will continue to be Real, Raw & Uncut.
Sending all my love and magic from my little corner of paradise in Cape Town
Love Kelly
xxx
PS: Thought I would share some of the things that TURN ME ON…
  • High Vibe Conversations with awesome people
  • Bringing A Smile To Someones Face
  • Laughing
  • Creating
  • Writing
  • Recording Real, Raw & Uncut
  • Talking To You
  • Dancing
  • Turning Someone On To More Of Their Unique Genius
  • Living In My Kinda Paradise
  • Exploring The World
  • Being Part of A Conscious Creative Community
  • Laying In My Hammock
  • A Hot Bubble Bath
  • A Roaring Fire
  • A Proper Hug
  • A Deep Sensuous Kiss
  • Making Deep Intimate Love With My Man
  • The Presence of The Divine Masculine
  • Wearing Beautiful Clothes
  • Laying Under The Stars
  • Watching The Sunset
  • Palm Trees and Coconuts
  • Rivers, Oceans and Waterfalls
  • Nature In All Her Glory
  • Big Wide Expansive Views
  • Amazing Healthy Natural Whole-foods
  • Sunshine & Warmth
  • The Sound Of A Child’s Laughter
  • Connecting With My Family
  • Playing With Friends
  • Live Music
  • Receiving A Massage
  • The Presence Of Someone That Is Turned On
  • Connecting To And Living From My Genius
  • Sharing My Voice And Wisdom
  • Awakening
  • Connecting Transforming Learning
  • Turning You On
Being Turned On – Turns Me On …
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